Day and Night...

It really seems that I am always stressed, no matter what the occasion is, like it's impossible for my body and mind not to stress over something. If I have nothing to currently stress about I will uncontrollably go back to a point in my mind where I was stressing, and stress about that. I'm the kind of person who will take just about anything personal, and it is really starting to become a problem. I can barely function with out stressing out. I really wish that I could

just find something that would help me to simply clam down, but it really seems nearly impossible to do so. I just want to find that one thing that will just ease my mind, take me to a place where the stress of my day doesn't exist. I surely hope that I do find that thing soon. I use to believe that is was Art, but recently I have not been able to get a creative thought to produce any art to help myself. So maybe I should just be wishing for some creative ideas, that might help. Who Knows.

Can I Just Sit Back?

One of my closes friends has decided recently to try and make a point with his parents, his first and most stupid move was to not come home one night. His mother was terribly upset as well as Kyle and I were. We did everything we knew to help his parents find him, and they did the next day. I feel really terrible for giving the information i know to his parents but I see no other choice. I don't want to be the kind of friend who will just sit back and watch their friends fail. I want to help him before does anything else stupid. Last night he called me and asked me if he could come over to "Taco Monday" I immediately told him he was uninvited, and that I was sorry to be so rude and mean, but I didn't think he deserved to be rewarded for his recent decisions. A few minutes later his mother called me, I was kind of nervous about how the conversation would go and before she got that chance to say anything I began to apologize for being so mean and how I though he shouldn't be rewarded. She finally cut me off and said that she agreed with me and that my choice was a good one. I felt relieved as she continued to thank me and Kyle for being such good friends to her son, and that she really hopes that we continue to be Friends and that we can help to knock some sense into him. At least I feel slightly relieved that his mother and father agree with me, and don't want me to just sit back and watch my friend fail us, and most importantly fail himself.

A Week in The Life of...

So recently i was reading my boyfriends blog and he has been doing "A Day in The Life of..." blogs about how everything in his life has been going and the things he has been doing recently and thinking about. I thought this was a great idea and decided I wanted to do one. With the modification of a week.

So, A Week in The Life of.... Me!
How I spend a week in my life lately has been pretty boring.
Sunday: Every Sunday I spend the majority of the day at church. I'm only home between 12:30 and 4:30, then I go home about 9 to get ready for a week of school.
Monday: Monday's are always my favorite, because after school I go to my boyfriends house for TACO MONDAY!, even though there have been a lot less Taco's lately. Glenn has demanded a shortage in taco's, but every Monday we watch LOST on DVD and eat dinner together. It has really helped me to bond with Kyle's family.
Tuesday: Most Tuesday's I stay home with my family. We hang out in our garage and sing karaoke, dance, and play pool. Pretty fun.
Wednesday: Wednesday is church again, and we go do community service.
Thursday: Is a "Who Knows what will happen" Day. Sometimes I stay home with my parents, and some days my boyfriend hangs out until bed time.
Friday - Saturday: I might go to the skating rink with my boyfriend while he works, at some point Taco Bell will be invovled, and noramally one day I spend some time with my friends.

Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right...

...And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile
Even when you´re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that ...

Smile - Uncle Kracker

I was listing to this song during study hall the other day, and I couldn't help but think of a few people in my life who always seem to make me smile, no matter how sour my day turns. The good moods that they can put me in are incredible, I really can't express how thankful I am that I have that handful of people in my life. Knowing I have that group of people who can bring a smile to my face in the worst of days, always makes me feel secure in life, like no matter what goes wrong, they will be there to make things better. Lately, I feel like they have been abandoning me though, and depending on me more than ever and leaving me to fend for my self. Though, when I really think about it, I can see that they are not abandoning me, they are helping me practice for the next few years when we will all be off our own separate ways building our own life's and traveling fast in our futures. I just hope to know that my boyfriend will always be there because this song always makes me really think deeply about our relationship and just completing the milestone of being together for a year and a half has really been on my mind lately. He is truly that person who is the one that makes me "smile like the sun"!

Changes...

It really sucks when you find out that your best friend starts dating a girl and his entire world changes. He gives up on his responsibilities, his family, and now he's giving up his friends. The saddest part about the whole thing is they have been dating for a month. How can things change that fast? What can I even do to help my friend see that he is letting his whole life go for a girl? Don't get me wrong, I love the girl he chose, but I do not love the way that she has influenced him to me a totally different person. Really I believe they both have changed. I just want my two best friends back to normal, I really want to know what is going on. Hopefully I find out soon and can help them from losing everything they know as them and changing into totally different people.

Skates-Alive

I really hate going to work with my boyfriends since I sit around bored the entire time, at least I can accomplish some homework with out my parents interrupting me for any reason. The only reason I come is a) to get out of the house and b) because it makes my boyfriend happy. I always end up regretting my decision to come with a headache and a majorly increased stress level. Though as much as I regret it the next time he ask me to go with him, I always seem to go, and sometimes after I have decided not to go with him that weekend my parents will ask me to take my sister, and then I fall into the trap again and I am not only stuck at this middle school playground but I am stuck here, bored, with my little sister.

Total Disrespect...

Today while going to the gas station with on of my best friends, I witnessed one of the most disrespectful event of my life. We walked in to prepay for our gas that we wanted and buy some chocolate covered raisins, and walked in on a girl screaming at the top of her lungs at the cashier about accusing her of stealing gas. For at least five minutes she yelled very racist things at the store clerk who was obviously foreign. I found this offencive beyond belief, since after the girl walked out of the store the clerk told us that he had only asked her over the speakers if she would like to purchase some gas. I can't believe how rude this girl was being to the clerk, if she didn't like the service she could have gone to another location to purchase her gas, or whatever it is that she wanted. After she had left my friend and I apologised for the girls behavior and told him that he didn't deserve to be treated that way. I really hope that the youth gets a reality check and learns some manners.

One and a Half...

I cant believe that we have actually been together for a year and a half, it honestly doesn't feel like it, well it's really weird because when you say it like that it sounds like a long time but when I sit and think about all the things that have happened and how much we both have changed since we started dating and it feels like we just have always been together. So Sunday it's been a whole year and a half. I'm sure as sure as I'm sure that it has been the best year and half of my entire life (so far). And really I cant wait to see what is to come for us, and what is to come in both of our lives to see where we go and all the things to come.

To another year and a half plus some :D

Why is love always difficult? (No True Love)

Another belief about why love is difficult is that people do not ever find true love, true love is just a myth and that people cannot experience it their for they face these difficult times to prove that that it is not true love. The trials and tribulations of a relationship could be seen as foreshadowing to the out come of the relationship, almost like indicators that true love can never really exist. When I think of the difficulties of a relationship it is easy to see how it could be said that their is no such thing is true love due to the fact that people face so many troubles in a relationship. Many relationships will not conclude in true love, most relationships that is, if true love even exist, do not conclude in true love. So is true love plausible or is it just something someone made up to give others a thing to look forward to, something to make all the difficulties of relationships seem worth all it.

Why is love always difficult? (Challenges Make us Stronger)

I believe that the reason love is so difficult is that people need to face challenges in their relationships to grow stronger. Without these difficulties and challenges they will never learn how to deal with situations together, and these trials and tribulations help them learn more about one another. I believe that you can not truly know someone until you have seen them at their worse, things can not always be good or you will never really know that person. Another reason that you have to face difficulties in a relationship is that when they are all over, you have that chance to improve your relationship so that what ever the challenge was wont happen again. I honestly believe that this is the mortar in the bricks of a relationship, the things that keep it all together, the difficulties make us stronger. Love is difficult because you can only truly learn to love someone if you have seen them at every side. Facing challenges is the key to finding the true love in someones heart.

My Red Treasure Chest

I have been searching for a treasure chest, or hope chest for a long time. During one of the snow days my boyfriend and I walked through a thrift store and there in the back was a red, beaten up, half way broken treasure chest. Which was more than likely the most exciting moment of my day. I have always wanted one and even though this one looked like it had been through hell, I thought it gave it character, I loved it. So I bought it for $5 and filled it will all my journals, lyrics, poems and other papers I have collected. I love my treasure chest, now I have to wait til I am older to buy a good wooden on to fill with the precious moments of my adult life. The reason I think I loved this one so much because, like me it has been beaten, tossed around, and all the bruises and dents make it perfect.

Snowed in at the Thorntons...

What a fun day we got snowed in after the concert and I "had" to spend the day at the Thornton's with kyle, Timmy and Camille. After the concert we all planned on spending the night at Kyles house (except for Logan he had to work in the morning). We stayed up late watching movies and roasting marshmallows in the fireplace. We had S'mores and finally went to bed at like 2 or 3 am. Then we woke up and spent the next day together hanging out and pretty much just having fun. We watched some more TV and movies then we all went home around 5pm. That was a fun time. Kyle's parents where a lot of fun and I'm glad we all got to hang out.

Concert

Went to my first real rock concert to see Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, and Flyleaf with my best friends Kyle, Timmy, Camille and Logan. We had a great time and Cam and I both lost our voices. The ride there and back was interesting since there was like 6 inches of snow on the ground on the way home that wasn't there on our venture there, oh and we had to fit all 5 of us in the back of Kyle's Dads truck. When we say we are a close bunch of friends, I'm not sure that's what we really meant. It was great fun. I love my friends, I'm glad I got to spend that first with them and glad it was such a great time and a memory I will be able to look back on, not just any memory but the memories of what made us so close, the memories of senior year, the last little bit we have before we all grow up.

Avatar

I went to see Avatar with Kyle and his parents recently at the IMax in Evansville. It was fun, the movie was pretty awesome. The 3D was extraordinary. I really like hanging out with Kyle and his Parents and I'm glad I am so accepted by them, and it's always fun being around them, even if his dad picks on me all the time. I kinda like that his dad picks on me, instead of being really mean or ignoring my existence. It's kinda nice. I love Kyle and his parents.